Just 2 weeks ago, I shared a vocaloid song titled Letter Song. It was a song where we ask ourselves who we want to be, what we want to do, and how we feel about the future – 10 years from now. It was a moment of reflection; a brevity of preparation.
With the future so uncertain… What would have changed?
Our surroundings? Or ourselves? Or both?
10 years later, when we remember the promises we made to ourselves, this song – a time capsule – resurfaces and we compare notes with the us from 10 years before. Call it a throwback if you like, but this throwback would be one where we consider the possibilities lost and the the uncertainty that still hangs all this time.
I highly recommend listening to nayuta’s cover, first from 10 years ago and of the answer to the letter song (current). In this interval of 10 years, nayuta’s singing has changed quite significantly which adds to the essence of the Letter Song.
The cover by Awa includes english translation subs, so you can refer to it if you are unable/unsure of deciphering the lyrics by ear.
– Letter Song -Answer-
In the previous letter, we asked ourselves “Will I be able to say ‘I love myself’?”
Looking at how I’ve lived, my reply is the same as the lyrics in the answer to the letter song – “Even now, I can’t say that ‘I love myself’“. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We are all beings with flaws, commonly dubbed ‘work-in-progress’. I’ve talked about how I am pessimistic by nature, but that doesn’t mean that I feel I am pathetic. It’s alright if there are parts of us that we hate. I’ve already said that we can improve on ourselves with time and experience. The other thing is to just accept who we are as a person – of what makes us love (and not love) ourselves. Through either change or acceptance, all that is left is to follow up on treating both ourselves and others well.
What do we mean by happiness? A transient abstract feeling that comes and goes, or a desired state of eternity? Honestly I have no idea. Even Ayano’s Theory of Happiness doesn’t provide much of a clue. At best, I interpret it as an embodiment in memories that a person would remember time and again – The functionalization of a past, regardless of whether it has become obsolete or remains relevant in the now and for the future.
– Random thought
And there will be those who stay, as well as those who come and go like the passing wind. There will be those who we love, and those who love us back; those who we strongly dislike, and likewise those who do not appreciate us. Sometimes people remain the same even after 10 years, sometimes they change. As I grew, I became ironic myself – I’m always looking out for change and things that don’t define me, while desiring the sameness that resonates who I am before. In the quest to discover newer experiences and opportunities, I still stubbornly search for choices that allow me to carry the shell that I handcrafted.
My intention to pursue graduate studies is an example of such a conflict – Between a local and an overseas institution, I ultimately stuck with the former. The prospect of studying in an internationally recognized university, meeting respected academic figures and learning from them is a very exciting opportunity not to be missed. However, continuing in a place that I’m familiar with, with the people who I’ve come to loved and be loved in reciprocation gave me reasons to step away from the boundary of risk & unknown (Other factors were also involved, but I’m simplifying it here). I’m sure most other people are like that as well – A journey to discover ‘us’ without losing sight of what it means to be ‘me’ and the things/people that defines us.
However we try to live our life, everything just continues as they are. There are only two things we can really do: To look forward and hope; To look back and reflect. As for the present, we just keep moving as far as our hopes and reflections take us…
I’ll wrap this one up now.
Thinking back about about the times we passed, how has the last 10 years treated you? Has it changed you much? What kind of letter would you write to yourself after the first 10-years-throwback? Sounds kind of like Orange doesn’t it…
Hope all of you will find the happiness that you dream of~