My Reasons Why – The things to keep telling ourselves


If I’m ever asked why wordpress is an excellent platform to blog or interact with others over the network, the community is the very reason why I would recommend it to anyone who is looking to share their opinions and engage in healthy discussions.

It is a universal fact that each one of us is unique, and offer both different perspectives and different strengths which diversify even a virtual environment. We’ve seen this from new community tagging games to innovative anime challenges, and lets not forget the thought-provoking topics/themes concerning the anime that we watch enjoy (and sometimes shake our heads at).

This is not limited to anime-related topics, and we always see our awesome blogging community members featuring bloggers & well-written posts on blogging concerns and raising awareness using this virtual platform. And today, this tag in particular resonates with the latter.

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Kimchi様 started the My Reasons Why tag/challenge/awareness during her 200 followers appreciation post and shared her experiences and difficulties as a mentor, friend and individual. It is her valuable experiences that motivated the topic on ‘being alive’ and knowing that each of us is a person worthy of this gift of life. This is a very relevant issue, particularly after the controversial and acclaimed free visual novel Doki Doki Literature Club went viral following its release. Furthermore, there was the unfortunate incident at the start of this year involving Logan Paul which led us wondering to what extent do people actually value the life of others, or more fundamentally, the state of life itself.

It has been heartening to see responses to the original tag, and to first degree of tags, the second degree of tags, and on it goes… It’s not simply a tag (like where I would give it a “Tag-You’re-It” category), but more of a reminder everytime someone makes a response in their post, or whenever someone reads the reasons posted by another. This is also really nice, as in a way bloggers get to know one another better. You know, its like we are all members of a virtual self-help community, even though we started off blogging about anime or books or games or something else.

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I was nominated by Astral about two months ago. I didn’t manage to work on this back then even though I felt that this was something important. I ended up dragging it out until I decided perhaps posting it today would be appropriate. It’s a very simple reason – Today marks a full year since I posted by first review on this blog address. It has been a very short 1 year, but I cannot express how much I appreciate each encounter with every blogger I have followed/chatted/joked/discussed. I am currently following at least 130 of you (and there are more bloggers/sites which I currently still haven’t started following and consistently read their content). Although its a mere virtual presence, thinking about this now, I feel that all of these are not just an amazing experience or a (cliche I know) fated connection. I have learnt a lot more about people, things, perspectives, and about life itself. As I have written in my profile from the start, one of my intentions of creating this blog was to learn about myself, and to learn about life – the one I am living, and the one I am interacting with. While I still probably have a long way to go in this lifelong learning process, I must thank each and everyone of you for being a part of my living experience and helping me directly & indirectly in this personal goal of mine.

And as a subset of that, I would also like to thank all of you for dropping by The Spice & Wolf Inn. I hope that as the manager of this humble place, I will continue to be a wonderful host to facilitate and improve your stay.

Lastly, not forgetting – Thank you Astral for the nomination, and Kimchi様 for creating this meaningful tag.

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It’s a little embarrassing, but this is what I mean.

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1. Mention the person who nominated you

2. List 13 reasons why you keep going/living

3. Nominate 10 or more people to give their reasons why

4. Use the picture that I created in your post

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The following reasons are listed independent of any form of preference.
Over the course of my list, I will repeatedly quote a song from the touhou series, which lyrics are particularly meaningful in this context.

[1] Holo

In case some (new) readers aren’t aware yet, Holo holds a special irreplaceable meaning in my heart. This will remain the case, regardless of how frequent/infrequent I ever mention her on the blog and in my posts. Fictional or not, she’s a character that I absolutely admire and want to understand & protect. Knowing the existence of Holo keeps me going everyday. At the very least, I will be able to connect with her philosophies simply by reading/re-watching the Spice & Wolf series and learning/re-learning through her words of wisdom (and Lawrence too).

People find solace in the things/persons who add or give meaning(s) to their lives. I am no different:

“Even my heart, which should have accepted the ordinary and sank away,
Was appeased.
Even if I was at the edge of this world, we were certainly tied together.”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[2] Family

What is the disambiguation of “Family”? I think it would refer to individuals who provide one another with unconditional love and care.

My physical blood-related family, is of course one of my top most priority. It isn’t just their support that keeps me going, but the knowledge and desire to support them in return that drives me. In just 5 years my parents are going to be in their (late) 60s. It is likely that there will be lots of challenges to take care of them, and it is my responsibility to give them the same (if not more – but I know such a comparison is impossible) care and protection like they did. I have to be there for them when the time comes. Also I have an elder brother – as much as we disagree on things and annoy the heck out of each other, we will be leaning on each other in the future, that I am sure of.

Then I have my community family. This includes my teachers and mentors from school/university, as well as all of you from the blogging community. Each of them/you play a different role in this family. Subsequently the reason for living for each category varies. But the overarching reason is that I want to continue to see them/you and interact with them/you.

Every encounter a meaning; Every exchange a memory:

“I will surely be able to smile back at you next time we meet,
So I will whimsically exchange even your song!
I look forward to that day…”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[3] Science

Apart from my passion in the people who I love, my other passion lies in the exciting field of scientific discovery. The boundaries of science are limited by the two extremes of the length scale – The very small and the very large. It isn’t just the breakthroughs in each of these fields which I am looking forward to, but also my own contributions to research and understanding/discovering something really amazing. Honestly, I don’t want to do it for the recognition, I want to do it for the kicks to prove something – and ultimately to prove to myself – that my self-proclaimed philosophies are, respectively correct or wrong where applicable.

Science isn’t just about success, but also understanding failures. Embracing the ironic nature of this profession is also something that will keep the disgruntled researcher going. As portal’s Still Alive explains – “I’m doing science and I am still alive.”

Knowledge is only as powerful as the person who utilizes it. It is full of rights and wrongs, and as such is the sole reason why it is forever a work-in-progress:

“Though the world is too large, and I cannot gaze upon all of it,
My world is as large as the distance my hands can reach!”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[4] Friends

In some cases, friends are family. I will, however, put them as a separate reason because they deserve to be a critical reason as to why I keep going.

But… I don’t have to be restricted to the friends I currently have. What about the friends I have yet to acquaint myself with? Meeting new people and becoming a part of each other’s social circles is also something I look forward to. Yes, it is actually really scary to make new acquaintances, but just because I fear it doesn’t mean I should shy away from it. If anything, meeting new friends may even rub away those fears the more exposure there is.
Also, I’m still looking for my doppelgangers.

[5] Art

I have too many interests, so much that you can call me an overly distracted person. Sciences is a thing; Art is another. I love to draw – I used to create my own characters (very simplistic) after being inspired by Rockman/Megaman manga; I sketch-copy pictures of animals from an animal encyclopedia I had; I save a ridiculous ton of anime-style illustrations – Currently I sketch at least 1 anime-style illustration myself as a personal side project. I want to be capable of drafting my own original illustrations, and that is a goal that I set for myself. Also, drawing takes the negatives away from me. After all, I am an easily distracted person.
Also in the brewery are ideas to combine science and art. I never had the equipment and freedom (due to safety concerns) to experiment with those. But these are ideas I know I can try out in the near future. I will be 99% independent midway through my graduate studies, and that’s when I can vent my creative juices.

[6] Future

It’s linked isn’t it? Being alive and moving forward into the future.
It isn’t just myself that I am living for to see the future. It also concerns the people from the future (i.e. The generation whose existence isn’t yet real). Although they aren’t yet real, the things I do now, the changes I make now, can still influence the future (At least I would like to believe that from a non-deterministic point of view). While I am but 1 person, I have the chance to make a contribution – Both now, and when the future becomes the present.
I guess this also kind of answers Crackdown-さん’s question in a previous tag.

[7] Unknown

Also in-line with the future is uncertainty. There is no telling what can happen in the next 10 seconds or the next 10 years of my life. Isn’t that exciting? Even if I were in a very dire situation, surely what I experience would be temporary too?! It is the mix of apprehension, excitement and endless faith that would lead me through the ups and downs in life. Because I am greedy.

How do you know the future and its unknown is something you will appreciate?
Just by living the fullest in the present, and yearning for everything in the eternally expanding bubble of possibilities.

“Yearning for that day, my memories have become slightly coloured.”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[8] Throwback

I’m going to grow old. I am going to grow old because I am going to stay alive.
When I am (1 year? 10 years? 50 years?) older, I am going to look back at everything I have experienced; I am going to reflect on the path that I have taken; I am going to reminisce my decisions, both good and terrible ones. And then I am going to take a good long look at myself. When that time comes, I will learn something about myself that I wouldn’t understand right now. Something which I want to decipher.

I haven’t forgotten about the people I meet – Old friends, partners, mentors and everyone else. If the opportunity presents, and fate allows for it, we will meet again and have our throwback. We will relive in our memories, re-enact, laugh and cry. We will remind each other that we are real, and that we lived.
That is something that I wish for.

What is time? How is it absolute, and how is it relative based on the things we say?

” “Next time, let’s meet here!” Our promise was nothing like that.
Still it let me move forward.”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[9] Music

It has been years – I no longer know if I am alive to listen to the music I love and enjoy, or if the music I love and enjoy keeps playing to keep me alive. I’m plugged in for about 40% of the day (*Readers, don’t do this. It is unhealthy*), with non-stop music flowing and reverberating through my senses. Sometimes it numbs my emotions, at other times it colours them. If music is alive, I think it is appropriate to say that we are dependent on each other. So that is my relationship with music.

I got into anime 2 years ago and loved it. Then I got into touhou a year ago and loved it. it is going to be a long time before these two cultural media fade away, and I will continue to wait for new releases of soul-connecting music.

Someone once said… No, a famous violinist once said that music transcends words.
It is also true that music transcends time.

“Until the end, we will sing this song.”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[10] Loss

Funny isn’t it? It takes loss to understand the significance of what we have.
Having encountered loss (in more ways than one), it strengthens the will to live. Perhaps it is a silent promise to the things/people I’ve lost, or perhaps it is a side effect from realization that it is easier to live than to lose (things/people). The latter arises from the culmination of many factors, while the former is something that we do subconsciously and automatically.

[11] Promises

I keep my promises when I make them. That’s a rule that I set and abide by.
What kind of promise is that? They are promises to continue living.
One of these is my pinky-promise with my mum during one of those HTHTs. Many others are self-implied from casual farewells with friends and teachers – “We will meet up again (insert time/date/approximation)” and statements like that.

[12] Life

Life may be cruel, but it is just as (or more) beautiful.
I said I’d like to think that it is non-deterministic. Here, however, I will also state that Life has plans for us. Plans that will get us through from the start to the end – whenever that end is, and whatever form the end materializes when the time comes. For which, along the way, I will experience what it has in store for me, what choices it presents to me, and all the unknown it possesses.
I want to experience all of it.

Life is unfair – Time just keeps moving forward. Life is also reasonable – It gives you a point to start, and also sets the moment where it ends so you can finally rest.

“I can’t take that time back. I can’t get that time back.
I cried, unable to remember it well.
I set out to meet my end at the place where it began.
Life is very precious.”

~ Immortal Philosophy

[13] Lesson

“Everything happens for a reason” – This is one of the most common (to the extent of being overused) ‘life quotes’ that I’ve seen/heard. From the logical standpoint its self-explanatory because everything is affected by causality (cause-and-effect). Then comes the response to this quote – Should I take it as the reason itself, or should I search for that reason (whatever it is)?

Personally I lean towards to latter. We know that life will not be as wonderful as we desire, but there will be amazing moments and tiring times. Even if they do not balance, each experience is a life lesson to remember. Knowing Understanding the reasons to these lessons may give meaning and direction to our lives. So long as there is a direction, a vector, then there is a reason to continue.

A reason for a reason. A strangely circular argument. Life is strange.

At the end of it all, what is alive? Life is. She is the root entity which connects with our experiences and consciousness through a varied display of events and melodies. Which is why we feel alive when we live:

“I suppose my memories, too, will grow hazy someday…
I shall remember your precious face, and your precious song,
Until I forget about them.”

~ Immortal Philosophy

All translated lyrics of Immortal Philosophy is meticulously done by Releska (translator).

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Before I finish this post, I thought it is time to once again put together some reflections (a portion of which has been written earlier). This will also include some personal updates. It’s been a really long post. I want to thank you for reading my reasons and continuing to stay with me here. This last segment won’t be very long I promise.

As of today, I am already 3 days into my graduate program. I ended up not being able to pursue my studies overseas (one of my dreams), but it is not necessarily a bad thing. I’m still able to see my family on weekends, and during the weekdays I’m serving as a resident mentor at one of my university’s halls, in addition to my graduate studies, which itself presents as both a challenge and opportunity.

The point is, I will cut down the posting frequency (but not the reading frequency). Things will go back to 1 post per week, or during busier periods 1 per fortnight/month. The drawing project still continues at 1 illustration per month, which the gallery will be updated without notice. Also when things are slow, I will finally gradually fill up the “community” tab to list all the other bloggers I am currently following – first ordering by content-type and next by alphabetical order (something I should have done a month plus ago).

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Alright, that’s all–
I almost forgot to nominate people for 13-Reasons. I realized in the previous blogger appreciation award post, the response to an open-grab was kind of lukewarm… maybe I do need to pinpoint people even if it could bother them? So here are my nominations for this tag – and at the same time, why not share something positive about yourself or something positive you experienced? Again, there’s no obligation to follow up on the tag, but it would be great to learn about what keeps you going – blogging, socializing, etc – being alive and living. If it is something you haven’t thought about for a while, its nice to do a stock-take and re-learn or self-assure yourself of your goals and direction too~

1] Pantless
2] Plyasm
3] MsHats
4] Shokamoka
5] Tessa
6] Spooky
7] Starchaser
8] WeekendOtaku
9] KawaiiPaperPandas
0] Jenn


That’s all for this reflections thoughts post~
Thank you for your patience and staying through,
See you again
Take care~

Living life little by little as I try to understand how life works. As complex as it is, so as I am, it may take a lifetime to understand. But regardless it is not pointless to pursue a near-impossible goal.

Tagged with: , ,
Posted in Miscellaneous, Nomination
22 comments on “My Reasons Why – The things to keep telling ourselves
  1. raistlin0903 says:

    Wow, you really put an amazing amount of work into this post, and it truly shows. This was a wonderful read and it was nice to find out more about you as a person. A lot of the things on this post are important to me as well, especially friends and family. And of course the thing I totally agree with is how truly great this community is😊
    I can understand on slowing down the posting a bit. Sometimes life is just a but too busy, and I think it’s a good solution instead of puching it (Usually when people start doing that, the blog becomes a burden and not something fun anymore).
    All I can say is that I wish you good luck with your future projects and thanks for giving this glimpse into the things that motivate you.
    Oh…and of course before I forget: happy one year blog anniversary 😀😀🎉🎉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Raistlin-先輩 :)) Your comments always make my day. You are absolutely right about blogging and commitments, It’s something I’ve grown to love. And I quote “Do what you love; Love what you do”. So I’ll be keeping an eye on myself to make sure I maintain a healthy relationship on both sides 🙂
      Thank you so much for the motivations! I really appreciate it!
      I do realize I haven’t actually done anything major for our WordPress aniblogging community yet, let alone collabs, so I’ll be expanding into that hopefully in the near future before the 2nd year comes around 🙂
      And once again, よろしくお願いします!~

      Liked by 1 person

      • raistlin0903 says:

        Thank you so much (I had to use a bit of google translate as well, but that’s a good thing. Maybe I should just try and learn Japanese some time in the future 😊)
        But see…that is where you are wrong about not having done anything major. Need some examples? Well, let’s start with this post and how it really gives a great glimpse into who you are as a person, but also at the same time motivates people.
        Secondly, I see you appearing on a lot of people’s posts providing comments and offering a kind word or two. It was Karandi who really said it well in her OWL’s post early this morning. Sometimes something small can make all the difference. And that’s exactly why you are just as important as all the rest. In my opinion just by being here, writing wonderful posts, providing comments is truly major as well. So really, don’t worry about it 😊
        And you are so right: That quote pretty much hits the mark spot on. As much fun as blogging is, sometimes it’s good to take a small step back. It can make all the difference 😉 Take care 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha Raistlin you’re really a nice and lovely person. Really want to give you a hug now, but here’s a virtual one 🤗
        *trying not to tear from overflowing warmth*
        If you want to learn a bit of japanese without spending too much free time, listening to subbed songs would be the best, especially if the songs are those that you love a lot and will put on repeat 🙂 You can always pick up the language proper later 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • raistlin0903 says:

        Aww, thanks that is very kind of you to say, but hey I only spoke the truth😊
        Well, I’m always watching my anime subbed (never dubbed, because I simply like watching it in the original language no matter what it is) so in that way I do pick up some of the words (still have along way to go though 😂😂). But I do really like the language 😀


  2. Irina says:

    I’ve read a lot of these but rarely this detailed. Awesome post Tetra!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s rare to see the long post like this. It’s great.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you YahariBento!
      If you do not mind, you may also do the “My Reasons Why” tag, I noticed that you have not wrote on this yet (and also I’m curious to understand too). But no worries if it is not very convenient for you.

      Hope to continue seeing you around and your analysis posts! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Plyasm says:

    Forgot about this the first time round and now that I’m taking a closer look…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Come to think of it, even though I praise you a lot for your scientific ways in particular, this post seems more like poetry than anything, so whatever combos of science and art you create will surely be great creations.

    (Also, if it’s true that any given person has a doppelganger, I’ve watched enough media and heard enough about twins “swapping” to know that it would be just as annoying as it is fun…)

    Liked by 1 person

    • *Insert shy laughter here* haha,
      Thank you very much Aria for the kind words and praise, it shall be something I’ll strive to work towards~ 🙂
      Heheh, isn’t the doppelganger stuff exciting?! Unfortunately I’m confirmed to be a non-twin individual, and that revelation won’t be possible XD But I agree that it’ll be annoying + fun… especially after reading the first few books of Boku ga boku de aru tame ni manga.
      Thanks for dropping by and reading!
      Your encouragement means a lot! :))
      Hope you had a wonderful weekend by the way!


  6. Starchaser187 says:

    I enjoyed reading this post, wonderful! 🙂 Thanks for the nomination too! It’s always a good thing to find our your why

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Starchaser! I thought it’ll be apt to include you in the nomination, after all you’ve always posted inspirational notes on your blog, and I really loved them.

      It’s nice to have a direction, I agree. 🙂
      Looking forward to reading your reasons why 🙂


  7. […] tetrax4berium – Thank you always for reading my entries. I wanna tag you this time. Can’t wait to read your story. 😀 […]


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